WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In testimony before the Senate Judiciary Committee today [uh...September 30, 2013], National Rifle Association C.E.O. Wayne LaPierre warned that the N.R.A. would vigorously oppose any legislation that "limits the sale, purchase, or ownership of politicians."
"Politicians pose no danger to the public if used correctly," said Mr. LaPierre, who claims to have over two hundred politicians in his personal collection. "Everyone hears about the bad guys in Congress. Well, the only thing that stops a bad guy with a vote is a good guy with a vote. I'm proud to be the owner of many of those guys."
Mr. LaPierre's comments drew a sharp rebuke from Carol Foyler, a politician-control advocate who has spent the past twelve years lobbying for stricter limits on the sale of politicians."Right now, a man like Wayne LaPierre can walk right into Congress and buy any politician he wants," she said. "There's no background check, no waiting period. And so hundreds of politicians are falling into the hands of people who are unstable and, quite frankly, dangerous."
In addition to limiting the sale of politicians, Ms. Foyler said, it is time for society to take a look at the "sheer number" of politicians in the U.S.: "There's no doubt that we would be safer if there were fewer of them."
For his part, the N.R.A. leader ended his testimony by serving notice that he would "resist any attempt" to take away the hundreds of elected officials he says are legally his.
As if to illustrate that point, he clutched Sen. Chuck Grassley (R-Iowa) close to his chest and bellowed, "From my cold, dead hands."
Andy Borowitz wrote this on January 30, 2013.
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Addendum. Today, the BIGGest politician the NRA owns is Donald Trump, who received the BIGGest support from the NRA for his campaign. 30 million dollars.
NRA donations to GOP last yr, there than Teump: $6,000,000. NRA donations to Dems last yr: $100,000. Here is a list of The Congress Members Receiving the Most N.R.A. Funding.https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2017/10/04/opinion/thoughts-prayers-nra-funding-senators.html
